Loneliness
by krazy
Summary: A story a fic you tell me. A fic that starts of sad turns to good and from there it goes on . .. . . . . . yaoi 1&2 maybe 3&4 in later chapters and I don't know about Wu - man yet. ~ENJOY~
1. -- - tales of questions and answers

Loneliness  
  
Loneliness. Do you really know what that word means, to be completely and utterly lonely? Most don't, but I do. To see your love ones die in your hands, to see your home in ruble. Well I have seen it, and to be lonely is the worst feeling in the word.  
  
Sometimes I still feel lonely. My family being dead. The God of Death, Shinigami is my family. She is the one who made sure I didn't die with my family, but I wish that hadn't been that case. The ones I loved died, the ones I love end up dieing or I cause there suffering. How can I live with myself like?  
  
I don't get to close to people for the sake of what might happen. Sure I'm all the joker, hyper person around my fellow pilots, but when I'm alone I drop all my masks and show what I really am, lonely. The God of Death kills, I kill that's why I'm Shinigami, but this life is so lonely. I want to be with everyone again and I've tried.  
  
I've tried the unthinkable the ultimate sin, tried to end my life. Yet as you tell I didn't succeed. I failed my mission.  
  
Wonder what he would say to that, but he was the one who saved me. For I was on the cliff the water hitting the rocks at the bottom and I jumped, but didn't plummet to the sharp rocks content. For I was held back, and held back from my chance to get out. For he had found me and pulled me back before I feel.  
  
He was furious with me of how I could be so dumb, when I had people who cared for me. I didn't believe, I did and I told him this. He was shocked. Could you believe he was shocked? Maybe I did grow a second head. But he sat down next to me and told me that it wasn't true for he new someone who loved me. And I asked .. "Who?"  
  
My reply was a kiss of sweet and tender love. There he gave me a ring and made me promise no to try that again. I did and I don't plan to break that promise to my koibiot. My savior, Heero.  
  
And with that last stated I burry you now loneliness for I have filled up my loneliness. With a new family my lover and friends. I will be Shinigami, I can't escape that, I don't want to. But with my life I swear not to let them die. I don't want them to and they won't, that's my promise to my self. That the ones I hold dear this time won't perish or go away. But stay with me.  
  
I'm glad to get ride of you loneliness, but I know you will be back someday, but that day I won't let you in. My heart is not black anymore, but is shining with light of hope and happiness. And I hope that light shines threw so that you'll never be black again.  
  
  
  
Good bye my loneliness,  
  
Duo Maxwell  
  
~t.b.c.~ 


	2. -- - and the story starts

Loneliness Part 2  
  
"All done koi." I say as I finish my last sentence. I put my black book back in its hiding spot. I don't care if Heero reads it or not because I have already told him everything that's in there.  
  
"Feel any better now that you've written it down?" he asks.  
  
"Actually I do. Thanks for the idea." I say as I sit on his lap, entangling my self with him.  
  
"I'm glad." He says kissing me deeply ...... then ......  
  
"Duo, Heero. It's time to go now." Quatre says knocking on the door.  
  
"Damn. Why do we have to go on this stupid mission, anyways." I mumbled Heero.  
  
"Because the scientist think, that this new O.Z. base just has to be destroyed."  
  
"Oh wow a base." I say as I roll my eyes.  
  
"Yah, never the less we have to go and destroy it anyhow." He says as standing me up and him self getting up as well. "Remember for this mission were on the ground. The other three are in their Gundams. Makes sure you have all your essentials."  
  
"You mean bombs, knifes, and guns."  
  
"Yes those and stop interrupting. Just make sure you have them." He says as he kisses me and goes into the closet to get he's essentials.  
  
"Yah, yah. Whatever." I say, as I check the two knives that are in my shoes, the gun in my pants, and the one on my back. As also I make sure all my picklocks are securely in my braid. `One good use for my braid,' I think. "Yup got everything." I announce as I go into the hanger to get my Gundam Heero behind me.  
  
You see even though Heero and I aren't fighting doesn't mean we don't need our Gundams, how does one think were going to get there??? By a taxi, wait that would be funny, and no we don't have wings.  
  
The sweet smell of my Gundam, my partner Shinigami, I love to be here. No I don't love to kill; that's her job. No I just love to feel secure and I feel secure here were I can tell, and show her everything, yet she would never tell. I feel the same way around Heero, after many years of only telling Shinigami how I feel I can also tell him. It gives me a place of belonging to know he cares about me. Can't say that about most people who know me hell, with anyone else I don't belong, he knows what I feel and understands, most can't and don't want to feel it. I guess that's why I don't tell Quatre, Trowa, or Wufei anything. Quatre already has to many sadden things on his mine, Trowa won't offer basically anything besides silence, and Wufei would just try to shut me up as he says I a `Stupid BAKA'. He doesn't understand, no one understands, but Heero and Shinigami. I'm so glad I at least have them.  
  
"Hey Duo, Duo." Heero says as he snaps me out of my thoughts by jumping into my cockpit.  
  
"Yea" I answer opening my eyes to his blue-eyed beauties.  
  
"What were you thinking?" He ponders.  
  
" Oh, how glad I am to have you."  
  
"Oh really"  
  
"Yes really." I say as I put my arms around his neck and bring him down for a kiss.  
  
"Heero Yuy, get your ass into your own Gundam and not Maxwell's." Wufei shouts threw the comlink as Quatre giggles along.  
  
"Fine." Heero grumbles jumping out of the cockpit and into his, but not until he gives me another kiss.  
  
So, five giants of gundamiun alloy fly off to the nearest destination, the base.  
  
~t.b.c~ 


End file.
